sWit And soUR miXtuRE

ooOOoo

2008-08-12T07:09:00.001-07:00

.............ooOOoo.............

oh yeah..

oll my crushes are crushed currently...

well basically b'coz..

i kinda feel its kinda gunduish to haf em..

i mean liike wads the use yeah!!.

im sooOOoo not bothered!!

haHA!!

.............ooOOoo.............

.............!!!NDP!!!.............

hMM liKE wad they owayz sae every good stuffe does

come to a end!!
jus liike NDP!!

its terribably sad!!u wouldnt know wad i'm

taking about if u werent there..

well well...on 09/08/08

i met buva, diana and parames at the city hall station!!

i was alil late..heh..

yeah we made our way to the stadium making loTza nOISe..

basically we were talking crap..

people juz cant take thier eyes off the beauty queens who ere

coming wid thier own backgrdmusic..

haha!!..

we were having hell out of fun talking crap oki!!

i had the most ""yummiest"" food in my entire life!!

arggg!!

we had photo takiing session!!

we started duty at abt 3..

before tt we were talking to the yumyum and goh!!

army.P.. one sensible joker and the other lame joker...

wow they made us laugh!!

miss them!!!

half way during...............

mixture

paST FEw DAez!!

2008-08-12T06:51:00.000-07:00

wellAAARRMmmm...

i made lotza frenZ...

lol....thANkz tO NDP and... my other frens..

firstly i Wen and watch movEE wiD sarA.. first TiME!!

haha... KusaeLan!!

alONG wid guGu, prince and pavi...

iT was A LaTS MIn TINgY..

we had loTza fuN!!
afTEr thAT we WEn tO parsir riS pARK..

those feLLowS were PLayINg Like KIds...

throwinG stUffs aT oNE anOTHer...

hehE.. cUTE..

bY tHE tIme we LefT we WeRE aLL soAkiNg iN swEat!!

guGU left first!!

tHe reST oF us Wen TO macZ TO haVE a BITE!!

theN i lefT hoME... tHE guYZ wen tO seRAngooN..

ovERAll i HAd fUN!!
tonNes oF it I shoUld sAy...hahHA...

laST TuESDAy PREtIV, yuVA, saNGeeTHA, sugaNTHan anD m3 wenTO waTch

loVE Guru!!

iT was A niCE moVEE..

but THEy weRE oTHEr UnkNOWn ppl wHO jOINed

IN wiD us...

arGG!!

i met BaLA afTEr thaT chO haPPi!!!

hAhA!!

theN on frIday i mEt sanGeeTHA ((muah kataechi))

muthu,abu and asvIn...

it WAS asVIns bIRthadAe!!

lol.. i haD fun... i sMasHEd caKE

oN asVins facE and ABu's Too...

muTHu escaPE!!
hehe...

then WE weN tO raBIahs tO muMmUm...

hmmm.. asvin mummY in hoSPiTAl..

sooOOo paavaM!!

yesterDAe i wen fOr a Job iNtERveiW!!

i gOt a Job!!
yay..hahA..

aftER tt i Wen tO mY grannyS plaCE....

hAIz ttS aBouT it!!

yah!!

mixture

SumTingSpecial

2008-07-23T07:09:00.000-07:00

ooOOoo

tough time..well a lil atleast!!

feel kinda busted!!

but its oki!!

it happens oLL the time..

well i had my first dance performance...

my drama competition... it din go well.. din win nithing!!
but for our effort we won goaL!!

lolX.. i kinda forgot my dance steps.. but managed it sum how!!

it was gooOOood!!

3deas of practise and such a wonderful turn out..

oki la... i shoundnt be saying that!!
but i'm happy!!..

ooOOoo

ooOOoo

sum ting very special!!

the sight make me glitter

juz feelings....

but not for the better though..

not sure y all of a sudden.. but..

'theres sum abt this thing tt make me linger a tot..

swit cute!!

but i hate the bottem line of the whole relay thing!!

bOO ya!!

((dun understand ryte.. haha.. its

suppose to be like tt))

ooOOoo

ooOOoo

\ICG\

not as bad as i tot!!

fun ppl..

new frens... but i'm still afraid..lol...

the happenings b4 and things i went tru

are not vanished totally from my mind!!

dun want mistakes to repeat em'selves!!

oh well...

i wass slapped,thrown, choked, hit.. andaaa yup

i'm still alive!!

lol!!!
im nt treated like a gal noW!!

lol!!

i'm a guy!!

t!ao...

[[lets all live life to the fullest]]

mixture

thnaKS guyZ

2008-07-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

weLL.. i'm hVING A BAD week u can say..

a bad eye week..

i got a big swallon eye!!
ya ya i noe tts shad..

haha... 1 week MC from schooL..

hehehe..

but its boring..

buT the besT paRt is My freNz camE by to Vit M3..

OMG!! they're choOOOooooOOoo sweet!!

love em to sugar Bitz!!

sanGEEtha stoPPEd BY.. then

anAnd Sindhu saRA and sidaM came BY 4 a Visit..

we had fuN!!

then i wen to a doc again and now

ive more meds to take..

hopefully it cures soon..

cant take the pain!!
ahHHhahhHHH!!

apart from this week..

last week friedae was quite a dae!!
we had a 3 hour ""shooting""

which we were all not satisfied wid..

so we decided to take another..

lotza travelling..

ha.. but it fun!!

ina way...

lol..

tinking back !! cute...

lolX.. :/

oki the worst part of the whole fridae was tt

i made my fren
wait almose 2 hours.. or was it longer..

:( wait 4 me and b4 i met her i had to go 4 the shoot!!

felt so bad alryte.. ahhhh

sorry hana...

i'm terribly sorry!!
din expect it!!

SOWIE oki!!

loVe u LOadz!!

tta abt it i guess!!

ooOOooo

!!UPDATED!!

mixture

nEw!!!

2008-06-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

ermmm....

well....let me staRT wiD june 14 oNwards..

i wen for a talk by connex us!!

it was kinda cool getting to know em...

met lotza new and nice ppl..

after tis thingy.. at abt 8 plus nearly nine...

we had a lil b'dae celebration 4 kavitha and sumitha

wid a yummy chocolaty ice cream cake..

it was simply superb..awww...

oh welll.. ya...

then then then....

ntg much till...20 june..

wow.. had a wonderful surprise...

i went for an interview wid sara and his bro suriya...

aft tt we went to yishun to meet sum of his frens.. i juz kinda tagged along..

thank god i did.. i met PRISENDRA there.. like wow..

after ages it feels like..

he stopped over b4 he went to whr eva he went..lol

argg... miss u so much dude..

miss all the times we had to togeher since sec 1 till 3..

hope to see u soon again!!
haiz...

hes back to
switzerland now...

so shad...

yah... other then ntg much... had a paper yesterdae and today..

kinda flopped my todaes paper i sld say..

oh well.. wad can u i do..

hmmm me and sum of my sec frens are planning to have a small gathering at

SP... after a looooooooong time..

sun unexpected ppl r coming too. but.. well i;ll juz ignore them suppose..

hmmm.. yup..

p.s i update more sum other time oki..

prisendra.. lol... nt really sure wad to

blog ryte nw... head feels kinda

M T... promise u

one whole blog juz on u oki..

haha

oN my OWn!!

2008-05-29T19:09:00.000-07:00

hmmm...life has a lil toygh on me again..

like forver... i, my god bro and my "childhood" fren met up recently.. hahaz...

cho happy.. i cried to my godbrudder...

but overalll i was damn happy!!

after so long i met him.. it did feel awkward at first,, but after tHAt.. so far so good.

((touch-wood, touch-wood)):P

oH ya bOTh my i-candies are attached!!lolX so shad..((:P))

hehe!!!

ermmmmm...

i've been feeling lonely lately even though my fren are around me 24/7..

i wonder y... my temper have been bad too...,

have been shouting and crying alot for these past 2 weekz...

nt really sure y actually!!!

weird old m3 i guess...

oh ya.. my bestie had a probolem wid his close frens...so shad..

one of his so called fren called me 4:30 AM to "make freN"..

so early... OMG!!!

he was talking to abt irrelevant stuffs... like wad the fight was abt and who stared it stuffs like that... ONG its 4 in THE moRning waD is ur probloEm.. aHHhh..

so sum how all this came down to "sarrukku pra-cha-nae" which means gal problem..

i wonder how!!

so yesterdae they had a table talk argument!!

in the nyte i my besti and god bro were talking...

suddenly the topic on ghosts came abt...

i freak out!!
poor m3!!

those gunduz..

mission for m2:is to go and stand infront of "somebody"

looking like how i use to look like!!

he will see... sOOn....

arGGggggg!!

i nver wanna regret things tat made me smile..

so pls dun mak m3 do it!!

mixture

simpLe M3

2008-04-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

learninG thiNgz the hard way has owayz been my thing

i suppose.. oh well...

relationship in any way has failed wid me...

let it be brother sista, love, frenship...

niTg

it may sound as silly as it is but.. yup..hmm

i'm noe really a kid who's living in hell or nithing..

i juzt feel like it..

sum how the ppl dear to me juz tend to leave..

i wounder y...

my god brother ((which now i feel really dump abt the relationship)) he's isnt talking to me..

assured!!((noT that i consider everybody's relationship dump..its jut mine))

i'll be waiting.. but the thing is will our relationship be the same as before..

i doubt!

its dump... juz like how i think patching up wid ur lover is SUPID and DUMP!!...

i think this is too...

whr the love wen we're able to a part so loNg

and bitch abt one another.. even if the bitching part isn't owayz the

possibility.. the parting part is a lil.. well i dunno hw to

explain actually..haiz...it juz wum be the same lah!!

well well 4 me having a limit wid everyone should be the only solution now...

like i dun get the love and concern that i give..

so y bother.. ezi to say hard to do..

ya i noe...and for me.. its vary hard..

even though i've been harsh lately.. really...

but i regret..

thinking abt my harsh-ness made me cry..

how i was i ever able to tt..

i've hurt two ppl..

juz by my words.. my temper.. argg..

bad temper liao!!

hmmMmmm...

poly poly poly poly...

wellarmmmmming..

i wen for my first ICG meeting..

wasnt that bad...

if ever my real brother(hehe(; the one who was born wid me)) finds out abt this.. i'm more then juz screwed..

lol

secret!!sSSsshhHHhh!!

i juz love dancing...

its like my passion... ive owayz love dancing..

my room is my stag!!

but my brother doesn't like me joining stuffs like ICG, indian stuffs...

juz becoz he's into heavy metal...((which is cool.. the lyrics which my bro ryte, are superb.. my bros band is cool actually))

but apart from the brother.. its me!!

i'm not really into this either...

i dun really feel comfy wid so many indians ard me either..lol

not tt i anti indian or anything...

its juz that the last time i hang out wid indians..

well it wasnt really a good event i can say!!

and myb tamil suck.. i'm not the kinda gal who say "ennakku konjam konjam tamil thaeriyum"

my tamil suck cos

i miss pronounce words.. and sum times it may sound really rong..

experienced... the meaning wen totally rong..hmmmmm..

i juz pass my tamil o LeveL oral summore.. Y..

well coz i talked in english to the teacher..((not totally in english.. i juz explained my tamil words ti her coz she din seem to understand)) Ke ke ke!!

considering all this how will i fit in.. gosh oh gosh..

furthermore i've owayz been wid either chinese or malay ppl..

yup so.. its a big difference 4 me!!!

wonder.. i'm actually scared..

seniors seem frenly though.. haiz..

who noes thre future niway..

anything may change anytime..

i must stay prepared!! tiNk!!

mixture

noT coMing tO aN end...

2008-04-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

i'm not really sure whr to start....

i tot things changed.. i was actually quite happy apart from memories haunting..

other then tat i was doing fine...

tried to get over wid things but i just cant..

it seems too hard...

ppl ard me teling me wads good 4 me..

i'm actually glad i'ved got sum caring frenz...

some betrayals still lies amg em...

wen i try hard.. poof its back..

more names.. i've become stone...

dun care abt oths i wanna try...

its my story i wanna live...

typically hard...

confused as usual..

i'm lyk ritting wadevas in my mind..

they dun make sense i dun giva a damn...

juz wanna let sum burden off..

my story is an ever ending sinkin ship...

new school... got couple of frens..

good frens now they seem to be...

no "my ppl" frens.. happy till now..

rather stay away actually..

fun happy going..

i've gotta brEAk inbtween..

sad

but yup...

firm on my decision... i'm fine wid the out cum...

a fren i still miss...

wonder how ego is meant to be...

i left it...

but it doesnt seem to leave me...

tears i cry of u..

a fren i need of u..

doesnt matter u dun see that...

i really dun wanna care!!

trying hard to be stone...

doesnt wrk tt ezi..

i'm brushing up on my stability...

cant seem to balance out..

i'm not even out...

I MISS ALL THOSE PRECIOUS TIMES

I WOULDNT REGRET KNOWING U GUYS

REGUARDLESS THE PAIN I GET!!

LOVE U GUYZ TO BITZ!!!

THE LIL MEMORIES TT WILL STAY UP MY MIND FOREVER!!

MIXTURE

LearninG

2008-02-25T02:18:00.000-08:00

well.. i've learnt alot abt life after my sucky birthdae...

two impt ppl left my life to teach me this lesson.. its not really worthy..but oh well i still learnt somethingz u noe...

ntg is permanant in life to enjoy like theres no tmr..

wanting to be commited now in a relationship..

well for me ryte now it's the worst thing that can happen...

simple dun put urself in a cage of restriction and lock up ur dreamz..

life for urself not for some one else..

be who u are not wad others want u to be..

if love is true they love u for who u are not for wad they want u to be..

simple ya..

we all noe love is irresistable.. who wouldnt want love.. first learnt to love urself...

i cried on my birthdae

faked a horrible smile

acted like ntg was rong

tot this year was rotten..

I WAS SO WRONG!!!

good thingz happen wen some bad tingz end..

ya well i'm enjoying life after a long time now..

i'm loved by ppl who appreciate m3 for who i am..

i dun have to be afraid of wad i do..

i'm free

i dun fake

totz of the past haunt m3

wish i had another chance

make it alryte

i learnt wads best for m3

allow my past

surround m3

it may be bitter now

but it was wad i loved once...

puppy

loVE isN'T ma Ting

2008-02-11T02:18:00.000-08:00

everything as been changing as i grow up..

i dun blame anyone for wad as happen....

i lost a great fren indeed... i nomore of wad i use to be... i'm changing...

i've been acting well and been a pain

now i'm a cheater..

someting i deserve very well...

i hadn't wish for anything...i dun wanna hurt u any longer

time shall heal the pain...

i wonder...

if i hadn't meet u will i've been the same...

i grew up each dae wid u

never expect niting xcept 4 love

i didn't see it comin and i have to leave

sorry for all the pain i have give!!

i dun make any sense now u may ting...

my life's a story ritten upside down..

even i cant understand wads going on... i follow the flow and trun em down...

i really wish i hadn't had that day...

now i only can cry abt it everydae...

another ending in my chapter...

a new beginning in another...

thankz for the times u were wid me..

i learn alot..

its oki we're not frens nimore...

onedae we might miss each other like never before..

thankz again 4 everyting.. i hadn't really expect anyting!!!

mixture

is it juz m3 OR...

2007-08-20T03:49:00.000-07:00

long time since i blooged...

there's like sumtin rong wif me... lately i've been getting really angry for the slightest ting... and i wonder y... i really dun no wads rong... tings has been juz changing and i'm going mad... i really dunno if it's me who is seeing this tings nad getting angry 4 ntg... or are they really happening...

first time in my life jealousy has struck me among my frenz... i never felt this way... ten y now... i've alwayz taken tings ezi going.. but now... i seem rather harsh on em... i wonder wad really made me this WAY...

i'm really going crazy...

this isn't wad i wanted tingz to go...

everyting has changed... wen i tot i will be happy...

well if this it is ten... i guess welll....

mixture

anOTheR heAd staRT

2007-07-10T02:50:00.000-07:00

weLL well... quite a numbER oF stuffs have happen...

like... well last last Saturday.. the 31st of June we had artz nyte celebration... on the same dae in the morning we had... carnival + speech dae+ and macPherson idol... i had duty in the morning... and at nyte.. was damn tired... and the bloody cord shoes were killing my foot...*sobz*...after my morning duty i helped Mr Farid to sell ice-cream wif siva... hA ha... new experience... so fun but ma hands were aching after that..i had to quickly rush hm took a quick shower...iron my uniform for the nyte and rushed back to school... met prisendra after so long.. oh boy is guy hot or wad!!! still cute but he grew alot.. HE" S TALLER THAN M3 NOW... not fair... then wad did i do.. oh y wad wif farhana, nisa, and ayisha.. wow after a long time.. it ws really worthy.. miss those galz like hell... beautiful memories of the past.. the amt of fun we use to have!!! nothing can replace those beautiful times.. tat was life.. a life wif no worries and juz love.. full of love.. a time i wish to be 4eva.. i really mean it.. it was like a magical moment.. no exaggeration..its true..

anyway cuming back.. we watched macPherson idol and screamed our heads off.. later we went to the camteen and ate..that was like my first meal for the day.. at 4 p.m... hmmm.. then they wenna change 4 the nyte... i went to change to my "professional wear"my uniform and my blazer... *tink* i invited my two cuzinz sistas and ma two frens.. but iu wad sun idiot stole my tickets.. but i still got em in... ha HA.. too bad.. an sum ppl were so squeezy and smiley coz they had to go in.. like wadwva.. i did it 4 myfrens not 4 u idiots.... i'll neva 4get the betrayal... never.. HCB..... at abt 7 15 too be exact... i went to the gallery and sat wif ma cuzins.. chit chat.. then went to chat wif nisa they all la.. after the whole ting i had to go to bedok for family dinner wif cuz dene... while dene and sham were waiting 4 m3 sum ss holes came to ask number from dene.. stupid fellows..arggg.. no better work to do... then met aravind.. he accompany m3 out there i met methew and ahcap.... after that i dene sham methew ahcap went to meet sara and anand in the coffee shop.. we finally left to bedok.. reach bedok at abt 10 plus... lolX.. had crAB FOR DINNER.. yummy yummy... ya that was last last satureday.. apart from that.. well i have go study now.. will continue sum other time.. lolX lolX.... ta ta

mixture

pEEr leaDEr caMp

2007-06-18T02:59:00.000-07:00

jz Came back From TUitioN.. mORe lIke a CHit cHAt sessiON wiF ma CUzin...

well i had my last peer leader camp last week.. it was on the 11 and 12... had lotza fun...

even though this is my last.. i actually gotta noe ma pals more... i'll never forget em tru out....

ma cute sec 3 PLz
the bond of the leaders were juz great... it was like a small lil family together.. so cute..apart

from all the fun we had.. there was more than juz fun in the air...

last part ws really sad... our chairman made us all cry...

ahhhh.... we were reallysad that we had to leave this family...

it's like we grw up together and learnt so much..

all those leadership qualities will be wif me 4eva... juz like

all those wonderful memories that we had together...

LOVE U GUYZ 4EVA!!!

the moment that we sec 4z were crying and thanking one another....the sweetest moment... hugging and crying one another shoulders... 4 probably the last time...

PANIC TIME....

this means i'll be leaving school soon an that means ma Os are sum whr nearby... ahhhhhhh...

panic-k!!! gosh.. juz in 4 months and i'll be leaving that miserable school...

even though itwas miserable and all.. there were sure many manyswit memories.... that i'll

nva 4get at all... wow memorings are uz running in the back of my head.. lolX... gonna miss

lotza ppl....

mixture

pAin Pain PAin lAh... aiYo!!

2007-06-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

<-- BY M3

the pain of love i feel...

* * * * * * * * *
Oh, I shouldn’t care or wonder where and how you are. But I can’t hide this hurt inside my broken heart. I’m fighting back emotions that I’ve never fought before, ‘cause I’m not supposed to love you anymore...

* * * * * * * * * *

cannot steal oki!!

mixture

2007-06-08T03:29:00.000-07:00

i just simply hate HÉ®... she's not even worth my hatred...

but i cant help it... worst... i had to see HÉ® today..

i juzt really felt like punching HÉ® face...

oki i noe i make no sense... but arggggggggg..

..i juz hate HÉ® to the core...

too many resons to state...

my depression level is high... terribly high..

feeling paralysed... i hate this life....

why do i have to the one who owayz suffer...

aahhhHHhhhHHhhhhHHh........

Hate this life so much and i hate HÉ® more....

need help..

i might juz die in depression soooon.....

real soon....

FEEL MY PAIN

the extend of the pain

to great to explain...

feeling so strained

walking in the rain

wif tears running down in stream...

i hate duh path i'm going

that i'm not able to change...

i dun understand my surrounding

i cant stand the enduring...

staying in the darkness

lack of brightness

i wish 4 purification...

-M3

mixture

tHé ß®ëáKíÑg ü¶ '$ÉásöÑ

2007-06-07T04:38:00.000-07:00

weLL thE starTIng Of tHIs year Has Been NOt Only dreATfuL tO m3 But AlSo To a Few cLOse To ma HearT...i'vE noT oNLy bEEn hURt.. Even WoRst i Was a REason For A perSon TO be HUrt...thAtz 100 TImes More TerriBLe THan BEing HUrt... sO manY beTRayaL... hOW caN a PersoN so Close TO u jUZ walK up To u anD takE aWAy uR GF or BF.... anD all u CAn Do is TO watCH heLPlEsslY.. Why.. COZ uR parTNer Is wiLLing TO lEaVe You.. u Dun Have a SAE aftER tat.. Do yoU?.....

it's So suRpriSing hOW a COUplE caN breaK uP anD DiffEREnt HAndz TO hoLd afT aLL thE vOWs THey'Ve gIven TO eacH oTHer... thE saME pAth taKEn And Yet aNother breaK up!!!

manY oF us are REallY nOT awaRE oF wad tRue LOve MeanZ!!!whY???

anoTher THinG that Has Been BuggINg M3... why Is iT thAt afT a BReak Up thE gaL is owaYZ tO be BlamEd!!! aft a relatIOnshIP a GAl iS caLLed a Bitch.... a Slut.. a Hore... i Can Go oN listIng doWn tHE naMEs shE's gIVen... Why???? as MucH Pain THe gUY goEs tRU.. A gaL goEs tRU moRe... WhY?? coZ dUriNg tHE relaTIOnshIp a Gal Has MoRe TO loss ThaN a GUy... Why dUn ni ONe sEE taT...

shE haS a Hrt Too!!!evEn iF shE reaLLy dId waNTed THe bREak Up.. She doEsnt Set PEacE!!! gUYz tRust M3 U woULd NEver nOe thEse.. She meY evEn bE wiF anOTHer GUy.. BUt iN eveRY toUCh... EverY woRd ...IT wILL BudggIng HEr cONScioUs.. shE caN nEver EscaPE THat... I woNdeR iF gUYz Go tRU thTA tOO!!! i REAllY WONDER.......

ï'M a GAl tOOo.... But i'm nOT beINg bias HEre.. reaLLy.. i'M talkIng abT those InnoceNt gaLz.. nOT thE real BItchY kinda gaLZ... thOSe whU reallY loVEd u... why do u have to give HEr aLL kinDa naMEs wHen U no WadevA u Are sayiNg izn tRue!!! iF shE waS a BiTch afT u BroKe uP.. Ten wasN shE a Bitch B4 taT as Well... So weL u'rE pRoud TO teLl ur freNs thAt U weN oN wiF a sluT...!!! whEre's aLL our geNtlemaN-hooD wenT to0????

i'M noT blaMIng alL guyZ thOUgh.. No offenCe guYz.. i'Ve sEEn THis ONe GUy ouT of aLL thOse i've Known.. weLL thERe maY bE maNY oTHer BUt.. LEt's saY ouT oF eVERy 10 Only 1 is LIke ThiS.....thIS guY.... Whu nEveR saId anYthiNg abT hIS gaL..... eveN aFt..... she No LOnger BeloNged TO hiM... he'S a REAL man!!! hE's a NIce Guy!!! Why CAnt BE gUYz LIke TAt.. talKing BEhINd a Gal's baCK oR iNSultiNg a Gal izn gonnA make U anY hOT ... lIke dUde waD the HeLL do u gaiN...

LEt m3 thInk............stiLL Tinking............thinking..........

oH i kNOw.......... NOTHING!!

i duN gEt uR poINt......

serIOusLy..WAd arE u TRyimG TO prOOf.... arGGGggggGGGggg.......... pITy THe laDy-hooD guYZ... We'rE liVing THinGz thINgz Tooo... We truST The fiRSt tiMe we BeloNg tO yoU!!! PLeAse Dun mAke Use Of Us!!! it'S toO muCh For Us tO

staND.... tOOO miCh pAin TO GAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.................

mixture

siMPly SouR

2007-06-01T05:03:00.000-07:00

LIFE HAVE BEEN PLAYING QUITE TOUGH ON ME..

CONFUSED

SHOCKED

IDIOTIC AND TOTALLY STRESSED...

I REALLY CAN'T FIGURE OUT WAD TO DO..

I'M LOST ONCE AGAIN!

NOTING NEW BUT THIS TIME IT'S BECAUSE OF MA REAL LOVE ONES..

I WONDER WHY..

I HAVEN REALLT TOT ABOUT DEALING WIF THEM COZ I NEVER

DID THINK SUCH A PROBLEM WOULD RISE...

I NEVER DID!!

I'M NOT A RULE KINDA PERSON...
I'M NOT TOO GOOD IN BEING CONTROLLED...

I HATE IT..

PLS DUN TAKE CONTROL OVER ME..

I CANT TAKE IT!!

I HATE PLL CONTROLLING ME...

I'M SORRY!!!

I CANT CHANGE MY STYLE !!!

THIS IS ME...

STUBBORN ARROGANT AND ADAMENT LIKE WAD U ALWAYZ SAy...

I'M NOT CHANGING!!!

I PLeAD!!!

DUN DO THIS TO ME!!

mixture

abOUt thEµ

2007-04-30T05:05:00.000-07:00

memories of the past
flashing back..
reguardless of hurt
i now comment...
i really do miss them in the heart
without agony..
they dun seem to understand the pain
of being stabbed at the back...
sumTHing i TruelY duN wan theM tO gO tRu
duE to THe tRuTH That I loVE thEm TRuE
allowin
mYsElf To detacH
preteNdinG noT to Be attAch
wIth thEir soUL
thaT Once toLd...
thE faKe STorY...
desPIte THE paIN
i REmaiN trUeLy
!!calm!!

mixture

cHeeRz 4 lIfe

2007-04-24T03:56:00.000-07:00

forgEt tHE paSt

tastE thE FUtuRe

sweetER THan Ever

WiFouT soME fLOwerS

that Have dRIed...

nOW i'Ve gOT thE neCtar

noTHIng caN sTOp mE frOm

bEing evEr so

!briGHter!

mixture

poÉµZ Of µA OwN

2007-04-24T03:47:00.000-07:00

iT aLL seEmeD liKE yESterdaY

Wen I feLt i waS onE oF yoURs...

noW iT SeeM lIKe i Din reaLLy

BeloNg thERE Coz

mY beLOved SouL iN yOU guYZ haVE

seEm tO diE...

leaVINg Me Here To crY..

WhaT diD i Do TO be PUnishEd so

!¿AcutE?¡

iF i ONly KneW i wouLd

Have StayEd AwaY

frOm thIs

Pain

thaT's tO0 muCh to

!¡gaiN!¡

mixture

i Wish i hadN't...

2007-04-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

maNY of US alWayz WishED thAt we Din Do suMtiN afTER we'vE actUaLLy iT alREady.. nOW it'S mA tuRn...

i nEgleCTed thOSe Who reaLLy meaNT thEir LOve For Me And acCEpTEd Sum JacK asS's Love whiCH i Wish I hadn'T doNE...

iT's haRd tO juDge A perSon... evEn afTER kNowiNG theM foR a whiLE... Why diD i Have tO get Into All thIS... whY???

i"m noT talKing abOUt roMAntiC LOVE hERE.. i'M talKINg abOUT caRE coNcerN anD frienDShip...

moRe anD mORE bacKbiTTers.. I caNt taKe IT.. thOuGH i Know the feElinG alreaDY anD trY tO conTRol mY teaRS anD moVe oN.. i JUz caNt thOse whO arE reaLLy dEAr tO mE jUZt kEEp lEAvinG mE.. now ï'M juz WondERing who's gOnna LEAve nExt!!!

whO aM i SuppoSe tO trUst anD whO am I noT suPPOse TO...

aM i FAted This waY oR iS thIS sUMtin I goT mySelF iNTo..

!!!I DUNNO!!!

ma Fren TOld All THis Is B'Coz OF me.. Ma AttiTUde toWARds pEopLE...

hE saYZ i TEnt tO be VAry frIenDLy anD trUst PEopLE vERy easILy!!!

oki i Agree To an CErtaIN extenD it TruE... BuT am I suPPose tO chaNGE mYselF and faKE.. beiNG suMon eLSe...

i Dun tHInk so.. Why shOLUd i chaNGe.. tHIS is ME.. i duN need TO chAnge For anYonE!!

i'M noT dePriVed oF frIends.. OF coS i DO havE a Few trustworthY freNs and a HUge nUMber Of noRmaL friEndZ...

i Guz i'M finE wiTH thAT... bUt hoW abOUT thE onEs whOM i REallY trusTEd.. thOSE i KnoW For So manY yeaRS.. thOSE i thOught woUld stand wiTH mE thICk anD thIn...

those i thOUght whO wiLL nevER leaVe mE!!!

thoSE whOM i reaLLy loVed.. WHats The uSE now... mORe anD moRe disaPPoiNTMent.. do I deserVE thIS...

why Does iT alwayZ goTTa Be Me....

i NO i'M noT the OLny One wIth TroubLE iN this WorlD bUT foR me.. My ProbLEms aRe oBvioUSlY biG... hige juzt DEpressiNG...

.....haIZ....

mixture

ßr¡Ghtéñ Ü¶ . . .

2007-04-06T01:32:00.000-07:00

weLL.. fiNALLy i Dun HAve to Worry aBOUt wadeveR haVE to About Mi.. i'Ve many Other THIngs tO worry abT... hMmmmm.... BAck To senSes...

wELL.. sUM ThiNGz jUZt haPPen WothOUt plaNNing.. whEn tHE dO haPPen sMhOw thEY'RE bEttEr thAn wAD we've expExpecTED... leavING the DArkNess bEhiNd anD waLkiNH iNto tHE liGHt.. fEEls LIke i WaS juz BorN todaE... a New BEgiNNing i Mean.. ya...

lil' suNshINe HAs juz mERciLy shoNe iT's raYS oN mi... maKIng mI fEeL so GReat... like I'm The OnLy PersON In tiS wóRLd... hmmmMMMmm... maY thIS suNShinE bE wiTH mI mY whOLe LIfe... i'm REally SO haPPy....

...FRENZ I STILL HAVE...

WHY IS LIFE FULL OF DEMANDS

FEELING SO USELESS IN ALL THIER

...COMMENTS...

I STILL HAVE FRENZ WHO REALLY

...CARE...

I HOPE THEY KNOW I'M ALWAYZ

...THERE...

I'VE NO IDEA WHO I'M CHEATING

...BUT I REALLY DUN SEEM TO CARE NIWAY...

I STILL HAVE FREINDS WHO CARE

SO WHY MUST I WORRY

WHEN ALL I'VE TO DO IS KILL

...MA MISERY...

mixture

¿täl€z ¤F µä L¡F€?

2007-03-23T03:42:00.000-07:00

iT's aLMOst goNNa bE a monTH siNCE i camE onLine...weLL loTza THINgs haPPen...

first 3 daEs of mA holidaes was ma TRAck anD fiELd camp... fiRSt daE we Had traiNiNG folloWed a List Of fUN actiVItiES.... had LOTza FUN...
wE weRE diviDed iNTo gRpz... fawZI«he was iN mA groUP last YeaR too», caspER, alVin, gUO piNg aNd khaLId WeRE in MA teaM.. goTTa kNOw thEm tO a cERtaIn x-taIN... then We PLayeD waTER bOMb anD sadLY i LOst Ma preCIOus RING!!!! so SAd... *soBz*

later afT diNNer WE haD nIGht caTChinG... It waS fUN bUT noT a Fun As laST yEAr thOUGh.. Juz Tis gaMe... haD a haRD tIMe slEEpinG... scaRLeTt anD i SelP oN the TEAchER's tAble.. arGGG daMn haRd.. NexT daE bacK boNE pAin... the iNdian danCers anD gurL guiDes weRE havING their caMP t00...

haiz..

then We had A anOTher LIst Of gaMEs.. at Abt 1 Plus we weNT tO chanGi for TrackiNg... shoULd havE bEEn moRE theN 10 km..haIZ daMn tiREd.. i Was whINIng aLL the way But DIn GIvE Up LAh.. AlVIn WAS puSHing Mi... HAIz.... WE WEre THe SECOnd TEAm... It WAS liKE AMaZINg RACe SOrt OF thingY... hMMmmm... thEn THe woRSt thING haPPened ON daY 2.. we PLayed Water bOmb iN the heavY raiN... then Our capTaiN was REaLLy mad aT us.. tHE daY was Juz ruIN liKe tat LAh..the Whole oF T&F teaM waiTEd in THe CanTeeN foR verY lonG.. aLL huNgry anD tIRed... thAT's weN juZ sum OF us gOtta nOe eacH oth MOre anD becaME clOSe... we STarted plAyIng catchINg.. ruNNing arD and makiiNg noise... afT ruNNing arD foR a whILe we Wen BAck to THE buNks... latER in The nYTe suM oF us Wen tO The MAcPHersoN squAre LiEd dowN on eacH oTHer on THe groOUnd And Watched THE stars.. it was REalLy niCe.. We aLL felF soo cLOse... afT suM brIefiNG aNd aLL we Wen to sleep aT abT 11 pLUs and thE seC 3s had TO do PUNishmenT tiLL 1 PLUs.. so POOrthiNG.. 4 Sum reasON i couldn'T slEep tt NYTe.. nexT moRninG i woKe uP wiF tWO eyS bags in both eyes«whiCh meaNs i HAd pracTiCaLLy 4 Eye BAgs aLTOgetHer».. i LOOked HOrriBLe anD scarY...haiz.

tHE 2nd Dae met loTza UnpleasEnt PeopLe aroUNd thE scHOOL.. Ma clOSe frEN diN reaLLY mOVe aWay afTEraLL.. IT was Juz sUM miSunDerstaNdinG there... hMmmm...
theN nExt daE mA cuzINs anD i had A guRLz NYte OUT.. wen FOr a Muvi.. ‘stOMp thE yaRD’.. a gR8 mUvi...theN They CAmE ovER to MA hse And stayED.. kept awke aLL nyTE. watCH muVI and aLL... next DAe had Peer LEader MEetIng.. afT meetIng wen $ a Muvi.. agAin.."JusT foLLow tHE laW"a gr8 muVi too.. iT was VeLI fuNNy...

saturday And sUNday waS noRmaL...

mONDAE waS bacK tO scHOOL.. thINgz iN schOOl diN chaNGe aT aLL.... thE samE aLL blOOdy bUll shiT stuFFs gOINg oN anD i duN waNNA sEem boTHered ni MOre.. thEy're JU zaddiNG oN to MA strESsed Mind... wad Ever thOSe bLoody mOronS aRE doiN to Me.. THey Will suRE to pAy bacK onE daE.. daMn thE whOLE loT oF em..

!!!TYpicaL CountrY brutES!!!

mA liFE's nTg buT a cOMpliCated bOOk wiTH chaPTers yET tO fiLL... i'M noT reaLLy suRE hOW thoSE chapTers r Gonna Turn ouT buT i hoPe thEy'Ll be BEtter thEn aLL this shIT i'M goIN trU noW...

receNtlY i Juz duN waNNa bE mYselF... shoULd I chanGE for Sum morons oR juz adjust MA LiFe tO those whO are stILL ard AnD avoID those whom I DUn WANNA TAg aLOng...

¿i'm confuseD?

mIxtuRE

):GoiNG inSanE sLowLy :(

2007-02-22T05:13:00.001-08:00

weLL laTeLy i'Ve bEcoMing More And MOre SeNsiTive... cryINg oVer thE sLIghTEst sTUfFs... shOUTinG aND gETtiNg anGRy oVer POItLess sTUffs.. WoW i'm ReALLy gOIng InsanE.... Or aM i DepRessed.. i"ve Got No idEA... sO shaD... weLL anOTHer tHIng TOo.... i Oso StaRTEd cUTtINg mYseLF .. sUM hoW i juz feLt beTTer aFT cUttINg mYselF oR Aft pHysiCALLy inJurINg mYseLf... i'Ve evEn oNcE wnTEd TO coMMit SuiciDe... i REallY duNno wadS gOing oN.. buT aLL i do REAliZe IS tAt i NEed HeLp...

thaNKfuLLy mA frEnz aRE aLL oWayz there..at least suM oF them.. suM oF those wHOm i sTilL caN caLL freNz… I REaLLy thAnk thEm foR bEinG wiF mI aLL thIS whILe.. wiTHoUT thEm I duN thiNK i’LL bE in Rite Mind bY noW… aLL thIS weiRD reaCTion shOUld BE dUe to MA o LEveL stREss And suM oF ma 'FREns"... ma PareNts aRE reaLLy stREssiNG oN mI.. i UndERsyaND thEy wANt mI to Pass... bUT thE stREss MighT juz lEad mI tO do SumtIn unplaSEnT.. thEn cuMs Ma "frenS".. pEopLe whOm i DUn Even coNSidER exiSt Ni moRe.. thEy jUZ kEE creatINg moRe aNd moRE pobLEms for mI... cuM oNe wad's Rong IN havIng moRe gUY freNs THen Gal freNs.... tat Gives NO boDy t0 CALL mI a B!*#H.... anYwaY i'M reaLLy noT inTErEsteD ni MOre... i aM whO I aM anD i duN cAre waD pEopLE thINK aBT mI.... bUT oNLy thINg thAt keeP poKing mI is TAt mA veRY cLose freN is DriftinG oFf frOM mI coZ of Sum Ass HOles... whY is It oWAyz mI....

LOtzA luFF

miXture

sWit And soUR miXtuRE

ooOOoo

paST FEw DAez!!

SumTingSpecial

thnaKS guyZ

nEw!!!

oN my OWn!!

simpLe M3

noT coMing tO aN end...

LearninG

loVE isN'T ma Ting

is it juz m3 OR...

anOTheR heAd staRT

pEEr leaDEr caMp

pAin Pain PAin lAh... aiYo!!

Ï jú$t HátÉ HÉ® só µU©H

tHé ß®ëáKíÑg ü¶ '$ÉásöÑ

siMPly SouR

abOUt thEµ

cHeeRz 4 lIfe

poÉµZ Of µA OwN

i Wish i hadN't...

ßr¡Ghtéñ Ü¶ . . .

¿täl€z ¤F µä L¡F€?

):GoiNG inSanE sLowLy :(